What is Wrong in Being a Slut?

Oh, yes, you read it right! I really asked: what’s wrong in being a slut?

I’m pondering over it after reading a few posts of Sreesha Divakaran in which she talks about slut-shaming, especially Ghosts of Slut Shaming at womensweb.in which she had earlier published on her blog with the title The Butterfly Effect.

The Butterfly Effect

The Butterfly Effect is the concept that small causes can have large effects. The term refers to a phenomenon in which a small perturbation in the initial condition of a system results in large changes in later conditions.

For the sake of simplicity, it could be said that a butterfly flapping its wings in one part of the world might ultimately cause a hurricane in another part of the world. It isn’t that the flapping of wings has any direct effect on hurricane but it has a potential to trigger a chain of events which may cause hurricane.

Initially, the term Butterfly Effect was used with weather prediction but later the term became a metaphor used in and out of science. Nowadays, it is frequently used in psychology, like the biological term trauma, which was introduced by Freud to refer to the injuries on the psyche.

Psychological Trauma and the Butterfly Effect

Psychological trauma means an emotional experience or shock with a lasting psychological effect. A trauma may be a single event or set of events that cause a person to shift a behavior pattern, bringing some attitude into prominence. The attitude may be a response to the event or may have predated it and become intensified by it.

A single event is less likely to be traumatic because it is insufficient in arousing attitude in a person but could be understood in terms of flapping of wings, which when interpreted with subsequent events of life could drastically change the attitude of a person, and that attitude may be responsible for many activities of one’s life.

In the context of psychology, the term Butterfly Effect is very significant, as a seemingly unimportant event has the potential to change the identity of a person in long run. Let me give you an example:

I often see guardians kick the floor when a child falls on it, consoling him that it is the fault of the floor not his. They may think that it isn’t an important event in the life of a child but they are unknowingly instilling an idea of revenge and an attitude of ‘blaming others for own shortcomings’ in the child. The chances are that the child may develop an irresponsible and a revengeful attitude with recurrence of similar incidences in his life in future.

Trauma of Recurrent Slut-shaming

Single event of slut-shaming may not have long lasting effect on the person but continuous slut-shaming could be traumatic. There must be a change of behavior for an event to be traumatic. Trauma always depends for its force on the person’s changing behavior.

We can stop any experience from becoming traumatic by not changing our patterns of behavior after the episode. It isn’t the events but the meaning we deduce from them governs our behavior. It’s about the interpretation of the events. Same events if construed differently induce different behavior in the same person.  

Slut-shaming could be traumatic if and only if you feel regret for the behaviors you are shamed and try to change them. Slut-shaming literally means shaming a person for being a slut. The effect of slut-shaming depends on how you interpret the word slut.

If you find the word Slut as derogatory and disrespectful, you are in trouble. If you are repeatedly addressed as slut, one part of yourself starts to believe it while the other part resists the label, and hence, a tension is created inside you, which will ultimately lead you towards depression and suicidal tendencies.

What if you interpret the word differently?

Slut as Slang Not as Abusive Word

When words are used as slang, they are not meant to express their exact meaning.

Once I was staying at my friend’s home, some tension happened between my friend and his mother, and in anger, his mother called him a bastard. I, somehow, managed to stifle my laughter because by saying his son a bastard, she was directly abusing herself not his son but that wasn’t her intention.

Khuda Baksh was a contestant in Indian Idol Season 9, who was shy and a bit uncomfortable when in the company of girls. In episode no. 22, when Alia Bhatt asked him to imagine her as his bride, he uttered, “O teri behn di,” which is an abusive word. Did he use those words for Alia?

In the song ‘Ab tak hai puri azadi…’ from the movie Kudrat, starring Akshaye Khanna and Urmila Matondkar, ‘Behn di taki’ was used as punch line of the song but later was replaced with ‘Chidi ki dukki,’ as the former phrase is an abusive word though Amir Khan could be seen throughout the movie Rang De Basanti saying, “O teri behn di.”

Ramkrishna Paramhamsa, who is considered as an Enlightened Person, used to say, “Sala,” which is also an abusive word. Why do you think an enlightened person used to say an abusive word?

Obviously, Ramkrishna didn’t use the word for abusive purpose but as slang. The word ‘sala’ is often used as slang in Bengali communities, and in a similar way, ‘behn di taki’ or its short form ‘behn di’ are used as slang in Punjabi communities.

In engineering colleges, boys often refer their friends as ‘Behnchod,’ which means sisterfucker. Do they really mean it?

No. Also, the word is a common slang in areas of Haryana and Delhi.

I studied in engineering college and know that there are only two categories for girls: they are either ‘randi’(slut) or ‘behan ji’ (like a sister). Trust me behan ji is more derogatory than slut in college campuses, as behan ji means boring and slut means attractive.    

I know many couples who are happily married now but in their first years at college considered their present wives as sluts because they had affairs with seniors. When the present husbands managed to get the attention of their present wives in later years, they transformed into beloveds from sluts and finally into their wives.

My point is when someone calls you a slut, don’t take it literally. Most of the time, they are not said at face value.

Etymological Meaning of Slut

Sreesha wrote in her post The Butterfly Effect, “I walked in, unfortunately, wearing one of those Kareena Kapoor-esque 3/4th kurtas and bellbottom pants that were a rage during those times….and suddenly I went from Sreesha, one of the class toppers to ‘that slutty bimbo in first year.’”

The phrase: ‘that slutty bimbo in the first year’ didn’t go well with her, probably, because she attached some negative or demeaning meaning to the phrase.

Let’s reinterpret the phrase. There’s nothing clear regarding the origin of the word slut but in record, it was first used in 14th century by Geoffrey Chaucer in his book Canterbury Tales in the Prologue to the Canon’s Yeoman’s Tale: “Why is thy lord so sluttish, I thee pray, and yet hath power to buy better clothes…” Geoffrey used the word to convey that the dresses the lord used to wear didn’t match with his status in the society.

In context of Sreesha also, it could be interpreted that the word slutty is used to indicate that that kurta didn’t match with the dress code of that engineering college.   

Before talking about the word bimbo in the said phrase, I’d like to share an incidence with you. I don’t know whether it happened with Einstein or Newton. I heard the story from different sources. Some said, it was Einstein, and some told, it was Newton.

In the present context, it doesn’t matter whether it was Einstein or Newton because both are considered as highly intelligent people. For sake of narration, I’ll use the name of Newton. Newton loved cats. He had two cats, so he made two holes in the wall: big hole for big cat and small hole for small cat.

Now, come to the word bimbo. As per dictionary, the word bimbo means an attractive female who lacks intelligence. The meaning has two parts: attractive is definitely a compliment and unintelligent could not be interpreted as negative, as we have seen that highly intelligent people also behave like dumb sometimes.

Not only common people but God also involved in such activities. It’s said that Lord Rama ran after a golden deer just to please his wife without thinking that golden deer didn’t exist in real.

So, the phrase: ‘that slutty bimbo in the first year’ simply means ‘that attractive girl who studies in first year and who once violated the dress code of the college, which was considered as unintelligible.’

There’s nothing in the statement that could be considered as shameful or depressive in a serious way. Mistakes are essential part of learning. Henry Ford forgot to put the reverse gear in the first car he made. According to Scott Adams, creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes, and art is knowing which ones to keep.

Dictionary Meaning of Slut

Sreesha wrote in her post Why Is A Woman’s Virginity So Important? Let’s Put That Tissue In Its Place, “the whole bunch of Indian men who call women derogatory things…..if you can flaunt a past with fifteen girlfriends (real or imagined), just to be called a stud in your social circle, then you have no right to judge a girl who has loved (but, possibly and sadly lost) a guy or two in her past. You may be a stud (good for you, man!), but she is NOT a slut!”

It seems that the word slut is disturbing her very badly. The word has been haunting her since the day she entered in college campus, wearing that ¾ kurta. Her college episode became a trauma for her only because of the negative meaning assigned to the word slut. Let’s find out: could a positive meaning be assigned to the word slut?

Before coming to the meaning of the word slut, tell me what does Romeo mean: a devoted lover or a perverted eve teaser?

Well, the standard answer is it depends. Exactly, it’s a choice. If someone calls me a romeo, I’ll go with the first one, a devoted lover. Same is the case with word slut.

One of the meanings in dictionary for the word slut is a bold, outspoken woman, which in no way is derogatory or disrespectful.

Literal Meaning of Slut

If you want to take the word literally, it means mud. Well, mud could be used to put stain on cloths as well as to remove stain from the cloths.

Fuller’s earth or bleaching clay is used to absorb lanolin, oils, and other greasy impurities as a part of the cloth finishing process.

Multani Mitti, mud from a place called Multan, plays a major role in beauty remedies. It is used as a face pack for pimples, acne, black spots, oily skin, etc. Multani mitti and Fuller’s earth are almost same in chemical composition.

Mud is also used as therapeutics in alternative medicines, especially Naturopath. There’s also a provision of mud-bath, which is said to be very effective in rheumatism. 

So, still, the choice is yours. It’s up to you which mud you associate with the word slut.

Spiritual Meaning of Slut

One of the names of lotus in Hindi language is Pankaj, which means ‘that flowers in slut.‘ Slut is capable of producing lotus.

Lotus is not an ordinary plant it is a symbol of enlightenment. Buddha is depicted sitting on a lotus flower. Vishnu is standing on a lotus flower. The highest state of wisdom, known as Sahasrar, means a one-thousand-petalled lotus flower.   

Lotus has become a metaphor for transcendence because it doesn’t judge and remains unattached with its surroundings. These are also the qualities of seers of truth. Krishna in Gita chapter 2 verse 16 said:

Bad has no existence and good never ceases to be
The reality of both has been acknowledged by the seers of truth

 

In this way, slut is not bad at all but a potentiality for the ultimate state of consciousness. According to Indian Philosophy, our bodies are made of slut, or in other words, we all are slut. Lotus could only flower within ourselves if we are slut. So, I’m proud to be a slut.

Topics for Next Part

The article doesn’t end here. Rajeev Moothedath, in my article Is Milo Moire’s Nude Protest Only a Publicity Stunt, suggested:

So, this time, following his suggestion, I’m writing the present article in parts. Sreesha mentioned some more events in The Butterfly Effect post, which made her college experience traumatic.

In the next part(s), we’ll explore those events along with variants of the word slut, like whore, prostitute, veshya, tawaif, nagarvadhu, etc.

What’s Wrong in Being a Slut?
Part 1 – Meaning of Slut
Part 2 – Meaning of Tawaif

Ravish Mani is a motivational writer, who believes that men need feminism too, as it is about equal rights and opportunities for both men and women equally.

35 thoughts on “What is Wrong in Being a Slut?

  1. Yes Ravish, It’s all about the choice you make. I also agree that parents indirectly teach their kids concepts of revenge and competition which is not healthy.

  2. great detailed post, in the present society norms people don’t gonna change easily but we as individual can bring it by changing ourselves. Derogatory is what one thinks so we always think positively

    1. Very well said, Cifar, a society is nothing but the conglomeration of individuals only and we can bring the change in society by changing ourselves as individuals.

  3. Welcome back Ravish! Reading you after such long time is really like witnessing spring after long chilling winters!
    Now coming to the post, it’s quite a thought provoking one. Well, it all depends upon a person’s psyche or sensibility how he or she takes such words, derogatory or slang. Being a resident of a small town ( Patna, Bihar), I’ve heard hundreds of such words around (to be frank, from my family members too). Still I get hurt hearing them. No matter who is uttering them for whom and in what manner ( abuse or slang) but it hurts. A woman’s soul shatters whether she is habituated or not, because what is meant, seriously, that a woman is targeted.
    So, the ‘Butterfly effect’ attached to this stigma proves right here. I know about a newly wed bride committing suicide after being called a slut by her father-in-law. And I witnessed that incident.
    Waiting for part-2 of this post. It’s simply GREAT.

    1. Sangeeta Ji, it’s always been a pleasure to have you here. Your opinion matters.

      It hurts because you have associated a derogatory meaning to it for ages in your unconscious mind. It triggers the circuit when the word falls on your ears, like a reflex activity. Unfortunately, most of us make choices unconsciously and therefore, don’t think they are choices and yet they are. Your getting hurt hearing the word is your choice. If I were to pay you a complement, you’d most likely make the choice of being pleased or flattered. But think about it: it’s still a choice.

      Yes, sometimes, it’s used to target a woman but not always. I’ll talk about it in later parts.

      It’s really sad to know about that suicide incidence but it isn’t new, and if I ain’t wrong, the same was the case with Sita. She was a victim of targeted slut-shaming. Ram, so called Maryada Puroshattam, banished Sita on the charge of being a slut only, despite she passed the Agni Pariksha, and she ultimately had to commit suicide.

      We could get a short-term relief by mocking or accusing Ram but it won’t be a solution for the issue in long run. Complaining could never be the solution. The only solution I see is not to feel offended by the word, and it’d be difficult to do so with the present meaning of the word slut. If we change the meaning of the word in our unconscious mind to a positive one, it’d be easy to not feel offended when we hear the word. And the series is small initiative in this regard

      1. Yes, you are absolutely right in your way of looking into the subject Ravish! Most of the time people use such slang without even realizing the literal meaning of the words. But one can not ignore the trauma caused by the utterance of such words. Most of the time people make excuses in the name of slang or of being habituated of abusive language, and at times even counterfeit ignorance about the meaning of such words. How can we ignore the after-effects?
        That’s why I found this post quite thought provoking. Despite agreeing to all your points (logically proved). I still disagree, quite strongly……
        Waiting for the second part desperately. Wish the series could make me change my perspective and I could be less bothered.

        1. Thanks for the honest feedback, Sangeeta Ji. I could understand your disagreement. We think that we make decisions logically but it isn’t the case. Science says that we make decisions
          emotionally and then justify it rationally. The decisive part of brain is the same primitive part of brain that is in charge of fear-fight response and sexual drives.

          I’ll try my best to touch some emotional chords too in a positive way in coming parts. Hope it would help!

  4. Wow.. there is a lot here! While you have written in great detail and I do agree that it gets used as a slang sometimes, we can not deny that it is a derogatory slang. Despite meaning mud, slut is a word used for prostitutes and calling a woman that is just not okay.

    1. Hi, Ankita. Thanks for dropping by. I completely agree with you that it isn’t okay but what could women do? What are the choices with women?

      As I see, there are only two choices for them: one, to feel offended and second, to remain unaffected. The breaking of jaw of the perpetrator comes under first category only. You don’t break someone’s jaw unless you’re offended. Breaking jaw of someone has its consequences.

      In fact, every choice has its consequences. Psychological trauma and depression are the consequences of first choice, and normal psyche is the consequence of second choice.

      There’s a positive meaning also for the word slut in dictionary, which is bold, outspoken woman. I don’t think it’s derogatory or disrespectful in any way.

      You are right that slut is also used to denote prostitute. Now, the question is: is the word prostitute derogatory?

      It comes down to what meaning we attach to the words. Now, we use the phrase ‘hip hip hooray’ in a positive way but it wasn’t the case always. Once, it was used by Germans as their rallying cry while going Hebrew-hunting in Jewish ghettos.

      We’ll discuss about etymology of the word prostitute and other related things in later posts of the series. In the next post, I’ll be talking about another common variant of the word slut, which is whore.

  5. Ravish, this is a great initiative. Slut-shaming is the worst kind of bullying. It destroys the victim, at the same time, insults womanhood.

    I can see where you are going with trying to change the way people look at the word. Earlier, bitch used to be such a hurtful word (it still is), but now it also has a different meaning—a woman with an assertive attitude. In fact, I know women, who proudly call themselves bitches.

    But the problem is more than just the word slut, or its variations. It’s the malicious intent of the user. I have read Sreesha’s post earlier. It wasn’t just the word slutty bimbo. A professor actually insinuated, that she was in college to flirt with the boys, just by looking at her dress. There are many people who slut-shame women without ever using the s-word or any other derogatory words, but only innuendos.

    Anyways, using positivity for dealing with slut-shaming is a great idea. It will give a woman the confidence of facing bullies, who try to slut-shame her.

    1. Thanks, Kiran, for understanding the seriousness of the initiative and raising the right issues for discussion. I intentionally avoided the word ‘victim’ in my post. The use of this word is the major cause of trauma in many cases. It gives the status to an incidence as significant in a negative way.

      I agree with you that in some cases, the word is said with malicious intent. But, don’t you help the perpetrator in fulfilling his intention by getting hurt? I mean his intention is to hurt you but why are you getting hurt to let him cherish the feeling of a winner? If you don’t get hurt, he would simply fail in his malicious intention.

      I’m aware of her professor’s comment regarding flirting. My question is: is flirting really bad or disrespectful? I’ll be dealing it in the next post of the series along with the meaning of the word ‘whore.’

      1. I understand why you don’t want to use the word victim. But I have never understood why victim is considered a negative word? If we want people to find positivity in words, why not with the word victim? A victim is a good human being, who is hurt by a bad human being or a situation. Everyone is a victim some day or the other. Being a victim is not wrong, but being a perpetrator is.

        Here are some articles that talk about the same things:

        https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-compassion-chronicles/201504/when-did-victim-become-bad-word

        http://www.mlive.com/opinion/muskegon/index.ssf/2012/09/clayton_hardiman_48.html

        Flirting is not a bad word, neither is it wrong. But it is indecent for a professor to judge students on their clothes.

        Looking forward to your next post.

        1. Same is the case with me, Kiran, I’ve never understood why the word slut is considered as a bad. For me, neither promiscuity nor prostitution is bad.

          Exactly, words are hollow. It is us who put meaning in words whether it’s slut or victim. It depends on us whether we associate a positive or negative meaning to a word. I’d like go a step further to say that reality is not straight black & white but shades of grey.

          Good and bad are relative terms not absolute. Also, they are subjective not objective. What appears good to you may appear bad to others or vice versa. Happiness is a choice; so is misery. Choose wisely.

          Thanks, Kiran, for the links and a meaningful discussion. Next part will be published by the end of the week.

  6. Hmm… another typical Ravish-post. As usual, a lot of research has gone into this, right? That makes it very interesting.

    Now to the question — Is the word ‘slut’ derogatory?

    I’d say it depends on who is using it on whom, how it’s said and in what context. As of now, it’s not a word used in my circles, so I’m guessing I would be offended if that word was thrown at me. But let’s say I’ve been hearing people casually toss the word around, I would just take it in my stride.

    There was a time (around when I was in school and college) when Bitch was such a bad word. Not because a female dog was ‘bad,’ but because every time you heard it, it took you back to how the word came to be used on people and clearly it was meant to be disrespectful. But then, now because it’s used a lot and it’s often used to just express envy, it doesn’t sound so bad. I hear it quite a bit and it’s no big deal, really. (But I know I’d be enraged if I heard my son use it. )

    Farther down the road, there was ‘lucky bum’ remember? It probably sounded bad the first time you heard it. But then it came to be that the term had nothing to do with the back of person but it was a way of saying, Gosh! you’re so lucky.

    So I think, if we began to use Slut more often, and in a very light way, it would come to mean nothing much, really. But then again, I don’t think that would put the word in ‘good taste,’ even if it’s been loosely thrown around. We’ll probably just take it a little more easy.

    May I take this post as one of those initiatives at toning down the harshness of the term Slut? 🙂 Thank you. 🙂

    1. Thanks for the detailed comment, Divya. You are one of my sincere readers, and I always wait for your mature perspective on sensitive/controversial topics, like this.

      As the word is not used in your circle, you’d most likely make the choice of being offended if that word is thrown at you. But don’t you think that it’s still a choice of yours?

      Look at the word ‘tasweef’ in urdu. It means butt. Muslims frequently use it to ask someone to sit, even females. They say, “tasweef rakhiye,” which means in English, “put your butt down.” It may sound offending or derogatory to English ladies but not Muslim ladies; for them, it’s cultured way to ask someone to sit-down.

      You rightly said that it depends on who is using it on whom, how it’s said and in what context. But it also depends on how one is taking it. Nowadays, Romeo is a bad word. It’s used in the context of eve teaser. There’s a anti-romeo squad in Uttar Pradesh Police Force.

      If someone tells me romeo, I won’t feel offended. The reason is I know that I am not an eve teaser, so I’ll give the benefit of the doubt to the person who said it at me and will interpret the word as great lover in the respect of Shakespeare’s Romeo.

      I don’t just want to tone down the harshness of the term Slut but want to change its meaning from the negative to positive one, like Modi did with the word ‘chai-wala.’ Mani Shanker Iyer used it to shame Modi but Modi turned the wheel and used it as badge of honour.

  7. Very interesting post! More clarity from the discussions- “As I see, there are only two choices for them: one, to feel offended and second, to remain unaffected”
    Being unaffected is the only choice in a world that is getting more and more vicious,,, ( or as you say that is not the intention…)

    1. Thanks, Rajeev, for finding the initiative interesting and sharing your feedback honestly.

      There are two choices left only if you aren’t ready to take the incidence in positive way. Well, there’s difference between being unaffected and being offended & not complaining.

      See, this happens in writing an article in parts: the chances of misunderstanding increases to manifold. Hope you’ll get your answers satisfactorily in coming parts.

  8. Very typical of you to write such post. Thought provoking. These days many of us use this language as a habit or fad. They may not mean it but yes, they do speak. And in front of their elders as well.
    It depends how we take it. 🙂

    Very well written post once again.

  9. If slut word gets normalized, they’ll move onto another word, and another and another. (Just like ‘highway’ was modified to ‘city street’ to escape SC’s alcohol ban) An abuse is an abuse. Why sugarcoat the word or whitewash someone’s ugly tongue? Don’t forgive them the abuse, but don’t torture urself by living the abuse

    1. Hi, Sweety. We’re interacting after quite a long gap. How have you been? By the way, you don’t seem to be in favour of forgiving them what else do you have in your mind for them?

  10. Hi Ravish, it’s really great to see you back and that too, in action! Hope you’ll be regular now on.
    I remember reading the mentioned post by Sreesha. She used to blog on the blogspot platform at that time. Anyway, coming to the point, we often use abusive words with friends just for fun. Being an engineering student, you know it for sure, as you’ve mentioned. I’ve come across friends using excessive expletives quite spiffily while talking, but they never mean the words actually. They use it just out of habit/for fun. For Delhiites, using abusive words is a way of life and they find no sin with it. As you said, when friends call someone, ‘behenchod’, they don’t exactly mean it.

    You must remember the ‘monkeygate’ controversy between Andrew Symonds and Harbhajan Singh. It was camouflaged in a way that Harbhajan didn’t utter ‘monkey’, he just said, ‘maa di”. It’s really amusing to observe how meanings of words and their level of abuse change according to place, people and perspectives!

    But, for slut-shaming, I think, there are different reasons behind it. Firstly, when a woman says another woman ‘slut’, there could be various reasons behind it. Maybe, the ‘slut’ woman is dressing beautifully making herself attractive in the eyes of others. That somewhat is annoying to the criticizing woman because somehow, she has no way to do it and that’s making her envious. And, the best way to hurt a lady is to call her ‘slut’. That’s our notion!

    A woman getting promotion for two consecutive years; she must be a slut according to her colleagues. A girl spends time with her HOD for academic purposes and then secures excellent marks; she is also a slut to the not-so-good students. Boys fail to get attention from a certain girl; as a counter to their insult, they mark her slut….the list just goes on.

    The question is, why the word slut and words with similar meaning get so much weightage? Why people all over the world use it as a weapon to destroy a woman psychologically? Perhaps, the answers will lead to us the very basics of the discrimination between men and women and to the days when gradually matriarchal society gave way to the patriarchal.

    Digressing from the point a bit, you’ll always find 99% of the slangs, abusive words point to women. It’s always MC BC and so on. Even if we want to hurt a boy, we point a finger to the female members of his family. Hilarious… sometimes I do think that boys even can’t form a slang without taking help of their ma-behen-biwi!!

    Finally, sorry for making this comment almost a blogpost 😛 Never in my life I’ve written such a comment anywhere before. Actually, I wrote a similar article in Bengali last year. It had a kinda sarcastic approach but it dealt with almost the same issues I mentioned here.

    Thanks for raising the issue. I’m just quoting you to show how much I appreciated this wonderful post, “Was nodding on every word of the post. It seemed like I have written it.”

    1. Hiiiiiiii… Maniparna, it’s great to have you here after a long time. And btw, are you feeling sorry for giving me the status of ‘Someone Special’ as you mentioned that you have never written such a long comment anywhere before in your life? 😛

      If you comment like this, I’ll have to be regular now on. 😀

      Yes, I remember that monkeygate chapter. I laughed that time holding my stomach that for Australians, monkey was a greater abuse than ‘maa di.’ Maybe they didn’t tell the real meaning of the word to Symonds!

      You are right in your analysis of why women slut-shame other women. Same is the case with men too. Men also use the word ‘slut’ in the context of ‘sour grapes’ to console themselves that they cannot have what they’re dreaming about. I planned to deal these issues in later posts of the series.

      I feel we have to compromise with the word slut for numerous emotions because of limited vocabulary. We utter abusive words out of anger and disgust. It’s more for our relief than to hurt others. It’s the other thing that sometimes we find relief in hurting others but it isn’t a healthy attitude it’s a form of sadism.

      I find the fundamental issue is the lack of awareness regarding Anger Management. If we were taught in our childhood how to use our anger in constructive way along with the sessions of meditation, the mentality of our present society would be completely different. Well, nothing changed. We can start by today itself. Wo kehte hain na ki Jab Jago Tabhi Savera.

      I don’t see it as a gender issue. We use abusive words indiscriminately with both the sexes. The frequency of slut matches the frequency of BC. I’ll discuss this: “people all over the world use it as a weapon to destroy a woman psychologically” when I’ll discuss the word prostitute, in my later post of the series.

      Yes, almost all the slangs, abusive words point to women. That’s the reason it made me laugh when my friend’s mother called him ‘harami.’ By calling him that she was indirectly abusing herself not her son. I mentioned the incidence in the post.

      Hehe… you are right that boys can’t do anything without taking help of their maa-behen-biwi. शक्ति के बिना शिव भी शव ही हैं

      Thanks, Maniparna, for appreciating that much. I’m humbled 🙂

  11. Goes onto show why no one should use any word without actually getting the meaning of it, and then too without knowing the right context.

    Women have to not take it as it is, that’s one solution. Sometimes, things are not in your control…not overthinking is a good way to deal with it.

    1. You’re welcome, Nupur. Thanks for dropping by and sharing your views. Well, I’ve covered a miniscule part of this four letter word in this post. A lot more will be coming. Stay tuned. ?

  12. I disagree with you! Slut is a word that is demeaning and denigrating. The thought should be to not normalize words but to stop using them. Period!
    Quite interestingly all curses in all ways are always demeaning women. Maybe that’s what you should write about next? What say.. 🙂

    1. Thanks, OpiniatedMua, for stopping by and sharing your honest views on the topic. You’re right in saying that those loaded words should be stopped, and trust me, I’m trying to do the same. But, yes, my method is different from others.

      Let me give you an example, there was a time when people proudly call themselves as Bhakts. The word ‘bhakt’ was very prestigious, but these days, its meaning has changed and people avoid using it. If we change the meaning of Slut from demeaning to compliment, people will stop using it. ?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *